SPEAKING OF STUPIDITY

 

stupidityIn case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

—On a Sears hairdryer —Do not use while sleeping.

(That’s the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of FritosYou could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap ‘Directions: Use like regular soap.’

(and that would be???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners‘Serving suggestion: Defrost.’

(but, it’s just a suggestion.)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)‘Do not turn upside down.’

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding‘Product will be hot after heating.’

(and you thought?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron‘Do not iron clothes on body.’

(but wouldn’t this save me time?)

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine‘Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.’

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid‘Warning: May cause drowsiness.’

(I’m taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights‘For indoor or outdoor use only.’

(as opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor ‘Not to be used for the other use.’

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts ‘Warning: contains nuts.’

(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts‘Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.’

(Step 3: say what?)

On a child’s Superman costume‘Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.’

(I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw ‘Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.’

(Oh my God, .was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Blessed are the cracked: For it is they who let in the light

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