Health Issues

Courtesy of Barbara Clippinger

 

  • doctors confirm wineDo you have feelings of inadequacy?
  • Do you suffer from shyness?
  • Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you checked any of these boxes, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon. It is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.  It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living! Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:

Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Warnings:

* Its consumption may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

* It may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

* It may cause you to think you can sing.

* It may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better-looking than most people.

(Ed. Note: Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Pinot Noir or Merlot!)

 

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